311 | Smoke

In 1995 I had heard of 311, but had never actually heard their music. The closest I had come was earlier that year, while touring with Sugar Ray as they warmed up for Korn. The Korn tour was brutal. The band Korn, especially Munkey, were really nice, but their fans were self-mutilating black holes. Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath never wanted to play their pop hits in front of this crowd. They played a lot of their speed metal unknown set ( ala Shrinky Dinks), even though Lemonade and Brownies was the CD they were touring to support. While I sold their merchandise , many Korn fans asked what to expect of the warm up band, who they'd never heard. I would explain that they had a DJ, and fans would often then ask " oh, are they like 311?" When I'd admit that I'd not heard 311, they would describe that there were two singers and one of them scratched. Often it'd be mentioned that they were a stoner band. Years passed before I'd hear of 311 again. In the middle of October 1995, I sat in a Days Inn Motel Phoenix, Arizona and waited for a call from Yonnie, 311's tour manager. The night before, my boss at the entertainment merchandising company, explained that they wanted me to drop the tour I was currently on , in order to drive the back line for 311 and sell their merchandise. The company was called Brockum and they handled many musical acts merchandising rights and distribution. The year before , they had convinced 311 to allow them to sell one shirt to retail. Now 311's new road manager (Yonnie) had decided that him and the bands Manager (Adam) could no longer handle the road merchandise in addition to their other duties. They called Brockum to inquire if any road guys were available "a la carte". They already had their own road merchandise printed, and also were in the market for someone to drive their band gear. Yonnie figured that they could get a two for one, by letting the merch company think that they had a chance of taking on the whole tour by hiring one of their people on a trial basis. The only problem for me was that my boss at Brockum told him I would do it for $600 a week. I had just come from Shaggy, were I made $600 per week, sold about 10 t-shirts a night, and rode comfortably down the road on a half million dollar tour bus. Now they wanted me to sell mountains of merch, and count the money into the wee hours of the night and then drive a 24 foot truck an average of 300 miles to the next gig, for a morning load in. When was I gonna sleep? The telephone rang. " Hi this is Yonnie, 311's tour manager." "Hey, dude. I was expecting your call" I said. "Great, then you know why I am calling right?" Yonnie asked. "Yep," I said, "you need a road merch guy and someone to drive the band gear right?" "True that" , Yonnie said," for $600 a week, plus per diem, hotels etc." "Well I was hoping for more like $750, its a lot of driving." I said. " You have a computer right?" asked Yonnie. " I do. I'll keep meticulous track of your merch. You'll get reports each night. " I said. " $750 sounds alright. Meet us in LA on the 16th of October. Do you smoke?" Asked Yonnie. " Smoke! I smoke like a fiend, as a matter of fact you wouldn't believe it but I am out on this Shaggy tour for the past month or so. The bus is stuffed with Rastafarian lookin dudes, but I am the only one who puffs. It's ridiculous! I am loosing my mind out here." I busted. Yonnie, cut me short- " I meant cigarettes. Should I put you down for a smoking room at the hotel in LA?" "Oh", I stammered. OOPS, I thought. " yes, smoking please". Yonnie laughed," P-nut and I are sitting here rolling a blunt. You will like this tour better, I am sure." I, at the time, wasn't sure what/who "peanut" was, but I was happy to hang up with the job that night. The next day I flew to Los Angeles. CHECK BACK SOON FOR SOME REALLY RARE AUCTIONS OF 311 COLLECTABLES FROM MY PRIVATE COLLECTION.